Saying Goodbye
by Bandit-Queen
Summary: Harry is saying parting words to the only true family he ever knew. His emotions are barely in control, anything could destroy his fagile bond with reality... (one shot, R&R please...)


The wind blew warmly on Harry's face as he walked slowly up the grassy hill. He cursed the wind for being so soft, it had no right to be. Not when he was hard and cold inside.

Lupin walked beside him, Tonks behind. Only two months had passed, was that how long? It felt like two days. The pain was still there, the anger, the hatred...

Lupin stopped at the hilltop and put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Are you sure about this?"

Harry looked around him. Summer had already made everything seem falsely cheerful, but in Harry's mind it was still winter, it was freezing the the sunlight. He nodded.

"Yeah."

Lupin sighed and continued walking ahead. Harry stood in place until Tonks brushed his arm gently. The three passed through the cemetery gate together. Harry felt a chill, but fought it off with every piece of his soul he could gather. He wasn't weak.

As they walked, Harry's mind went back to the day his life had stopped making any kind of sense to him. People were screaming, his friends were hurt...

And there was Tonks, fighting bravely...

And Lucius Malfoy, shooting curses and hexes in every direction, wildly trying to reach an escape...

Sirius was challenging his murderer... He was yelling in sport, and then...

The spell. The look of terror in Sirius' eyes. The frantic realization that he would never be proclaimed a free man, that he would never see his Godson again, that he was about to join his best friend...

And then he was gone.

Harry squinted against his own tears. The anger had subsided only a fraction, but it had released enough of him to bring more sadness and pain and loss. The last thing he'd had left, and Voldemort had managed to take that away as well. What had Harry done wrong? Was his life so valuable that dozens of others had to die _for him?_ Why couldn't he give up...?

"Harry. We're almost there," Tonks slowed to walk beside him.

"Right."

Lupin stopped suddenlya few yards ahead. Harry followed his gaze. There it was. The only remaining tangible evidence of Sirius Black.

Lupin knelt in front of the gravestone, running a hand fondly over the name. He read out loud, unnecessarily.

"Sirius Black:

Died trying to protect himself and others. Will be remembered by friends. May he find his soul in his eternal home.

1960 to 1996..."

Lupin's voice cracked, and he stood quickly, wiping his eyes. He laid his hand on the granite stone and whispered something under his breath, something tender that Harry only heard one word of.

"...sorry..."

Lupin turned away and walked to the next row of gravestones, stopping in front of one. His back was facing his companions, but Harry knew he was crying. His shoulders rose and fell softly as he leaned on the stone before him.

Tonks knelt, as Lupin had done, and sighed heavily. She clapped her hand to the headstone as if it were Sirius' shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you, friend. You're too good a man to end up like this, but I guess it had to happen..." She looked at the ground, "I s'pose you can see us right now. You caused some trouble at the ministry. They'd want your head if you weren't already gone... So, heh... See you on the other side, mate."

Tonks stood and swayed, but regained balance and joined Lupin in front of the other grave. Harry felt alone, he had no idea where to begin. How does one talk to a grave? He supposed he should kneel, like the others had...

"Hey... I came to say goodbye to you, since I never really got to... Ron and Hermione don't know I'm here, they would've wanted to come, and I just wanted to be here alone..."

He took a deep breath, swallowing back whatever was trying to escape him.

"There are so many things I wanted to say... But I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to a rock," tears began to fall, hitting the grass noiselessly, "I'm talking to a rock over an empty coffin with six feet of dirt on it and I just want to talk to you..."

Harry tried in vain to pull himself together. His chest shuddered as he began sobbing, still talking to the image of Sirius in his mind, "I won't ever get to say goobye to you, how could do that to me... I... you were all I had of a family, I didn't think I did, but I _need _you, Sirius, I need you back here with me so I can do all this..."

He leaned forward, resting his head against the stone and letting his tears make paths in the pollen dust. He hugged the coldness of the granite, knowing it was as close as he would ever come to hugging his Godfather. The unfairness of his life was waiting for him, trying to envelope him in darkness...

Harry felt a hand on his shoulder. He continued to cry into the headstone, not caring how much Lupin wanted to comfort him. Slowly, with the weight of a hand helping him, his tears slowed. When he felt ready, he pushed himself up, feeling the hand let go.

Harry turned in a cricle, confused. Lupin and Tonks were still standing in front of the other grave. They'd been there the whole time...

"Sirius?" he asked the wind.

The wind answered with a warm carress that blew his hair out of his eyes and touched his cheek gently. Harry's eyes grew moist again, but he wiped the tears away and walked to Lupin and Tonks.

Reaching Tonks' side, he noticed them both watching the rose-granite stone before them. A large stone...

JAMES POTTER - LILY POTTER

HUSBAND AND WIFE

KILLED BY THE DARKEST OF ENEMIES

REMEMBERED WITH LOVE BY FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND SON.

Harry, found himself crying again. Lupin turned to him.

"Come on, Harry, let's go."

They began the long walk back out of the cemetery. The wind blew at their backs until they reached the iron gate.


End file.
